Turbonegro

WHAT IS ROCK?!

Rock is the area between the balls and the anus of a dog or another man.

WHAT IS ROCK?!

Rock is the possibility of choking on your own vomit in the back of a rapist's van.

WHAT IS ROCK?!

Denim-clad Satanists making love in the sewers of Birmingham during Maggie Thatcher's prime.

WHAT IS ROCK?!

Meeting the grim reaper in a sports arena stampede at the tender age of nine..."

... only the first verse from the blood-spattered rock-operatic epic which climaxes 'RETOX', the latest and career-best record from Turbonegro, the band who (rather humbly) style themselves as the "Official Number 4 Formula Band In The Universe" - the top three are, they state, AC/DC, the Ramones and Slayer.

From Norway, these 6 deviants have wrought more rockin' havoc around the world than any other band in the last ten years. Their blue-denim sailor-boy gear and "faux-mo-erotic" lyrics have caused astonishment and confusion everywhere. Their remorseless collaging of influences from across the spectrum of classic rock, punk and metal - what they call their musical "dream cocktail" - serially blows the minds of their disciples, leaving others wondering if it's really okay to let their jams be kicked out, too. Must the Great forever be doomed to be misunderstood by the masses?

'RETOX', finally, blows away such nonsensical logic. It's hard, heavy, hilarious, terrifying, offensive, dumb-ass, thought-provoking and plain genocidal all at once. It IS rock. Total rock. Total Turbo. A record which, to borrow a lyric from its riotous lead-off single, 'Do You Do You Dig Destruction', will hit you like "brass-knuckles and a 2-by-4".

"It is the sound," they add, "of cold steel slashing through hot leather". On the cover, a Kenneth Anger youth gazes up at the vast projected horror of singer Hank von Helvete's eyes. Time for anyone with the least passing interest in rock to stare the Devil in the face. Fuck, yeah!

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